Memories

This has been, by far, my worst week in a very long time. We are getting very close to the one year mark of my dad’s untimely passing. I keep telling myself not to dwell on that, but to focus on how losing him pushed me to be a healthier person. I’ve lost 34 pounds which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s half of what I need to lose. I promised myself I would do this slowly so that I could learn all the correct ways to be healthy enabling me to keep off the weight. My lowest weight was 191 this past year and I’m happy to say I am at 193 today. I had gained a bit of it back over the holidays which I think is normal.


So why has this week been so difficult? I’m depressed. That’s just the plain, simple truth. These are the things I’ve identified as my stressors:

1. My sister is getting married in April, so I’ve been working with the rest of the girls to get the shower planned which has been very overwhelming when added to the rest of my already busy schedule. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy for her and I feel really guilty even admitting that it’s a little overwhelming.

2. I have developed very painful shin splints, so I’m not able to run this week and I feel like I’m losing valuable training time.

3. I had a business dinner in which I stayed out too late and enjoyed too much wine. I don’t know about you, but hangovers do not make you the best judge of what you should and should not be eating. So I am WAY over my calorie budget this week.

4. Work. I should probably put this first, but I’ve learned to deal with the stress at work, so I feel like this has only added to my depression this week because of the above 3 things making me crazy.


Quite frankly, I’m tired of starting over on my journey. I know that I’m being very dramatic and having a bit of a temper tantrum. I just don’t feel focused at all and I hate this feeling. I need to get some control back. I’m much, much stronger than this.

I’m taking a trip with my good friend Vicki in 2 weeks which I know will do me a world of good. I just keep counting down the days.

I think I’m going to start going back to my therapist, but I want to have a better understanding of what I want to achieve before I just go in and start rambling.

I’m curious…how do you get your clarity and focus back? What techniques and tricks do you all have up your sleeve?